What I want?

So many things going through my head. It so natural to have selfish thoughts. What will I do if we are near the end? How can I /will I care for our 5 children. How can I be a single father? How can I care for them emotionally? I am just one guy and a deaf guy at that! Its so easy to ask “Why me?” but where do you go from there. Wait, hold on, silly me I forgot my wife is involved.

I think about Job, and his friends telling him to curse God and just be done with it, but he said no way. While Job lost a lot more than me, I still try to remember all he went through, so I will continue to praise God. I know that we are rich in so many ways. We have treatment for this, we can beat this. There are millions of people who don’t have even the opportunity to fight this.

If it were possible, I would take her spot. I wish I could but I can’t. Things will get tough in the next few months watching my love suffer and battle this. I will be changing a lot more stinky diapers for sure. We are at a point when we don’t have all the information yet. So many questions. The biggest being, “Has it spread?”. She had a bone scan which was negative so we a little relief until the results of the CT scan.

This last week has been such a whirlwind but I became acutely aware of just how many lives my wife has touched. I often fault her for talking to everyone, and I mean everyone. She will strike up a conversation with a total stranger. When we let people know, the show of support, to me at least, was just unfathomable. People actually doing and not just saying. Planning meals, child care, yard care etc. Our Sunday School class organizing it all. Its unbelievable. I have no words to offer enough thanks!  Family, friends I am overwhelmed.

We serve a savior that was willing to die for each one of us, think of God watching his son be crucified. The pain and anguish as he watched his child suffer and die. We know where we are going when death comes. Do you? Christi and I would like you to know about our savior Jesus. There is nothing greater than giving yourself completely to this loving God we serve. There are many resources online if you have questions. One good study on salvation can be found here. Hope to see you there!

We hope that God’s will is to keep Christi with us. Of course that is what I want! But I also want his will to be done even if it means my cherished wife leaving me early. “Thy will be done.”

Water… Who needs it?

As many of you are aware, my wife and I adopted 2 boys from Ethiopia. This required traveling to Ethiopia on 3 separate occasions. I always heard about poverty but it went in one ear and out the other (well now it doesn’t; in more ways than one).  My first trip was the first time I experienced a third-world country and it took me several months following that trip to formulate words for what I saw. If I had to give one word for that trip it would be “DEVASTATED”. I experienced not just guilt, I cannot deny that fact but also so much empathy. I began looking at basic needs and how I could make an impact.
Water is one of the most basic needs yet over 884 million people still use unsafe drinking water sources. That’s insane! I was talking to my oldest son after our first trip about how so many people could not get clean water and I off-handedly said, “Some people would be happy drinking from the toilet… even after it has been used.” The sad part is, I don’t believe this to be an exaggeration.

“90% of the 30,000 deaths that occur every week from unsafe water and unhygienic living conditions are of children under five years old. Many of these diseases are preventable. The UN predicts that one tenth of the global disease burden can be prevented simply by improving water supply and sanitation.” - Charity:Water

My goal is not to make you feel guilty into making a one time donation, although that helps,but to make you think, we have so much even a small monthly amount goes far and has a major impact on a community. Lets look at the facts, one dollar can get clean water for one person for a year, $25 can give 1 person clean water for a lifetime. Wow, think about that, the next time you’re in Starbucks.
One day after my family and I went out to a Mexican restaurant and paid the bill, we spent $50 for a single moment of pleasure.  When we got in the car I told my wife, we could have given clean water to 50 people for a year.
It is all summed up in a book I started reading after I started writing this post and it is really the heart of my point. The title of the book is “You Can’t Do EVERYthing…so do SOMEthing”.  It’s a good read! In fact, I like it so much I almost changed the title of this post.
Below are my two favorite organizations.  Please give regularly, give once, just GIVE!

blood:water mission: Our Mission: Blood:Water Mission is a grassroots organization that empowers communities to work together against the HIV/AIDS and water crises in Africa. Our Core Purpose: To build community through creative social action.

charity:water: charity: water is a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations.

A new beginning, Finally

Its been over 5 years now since I lost my hearing and had the idea of Deaf Man Talking to be a site for late deafened adults as a resource of information.  I decided recently that my vision for the site as a whole is just to big for now so I created this blog instead. Maybe in time the site will grow into my original vision but for now it will be just another blog.

First, I am not a grand writer and my eloquence is lacking. I do not purport to be a literary genius, I am just me. I would guess  it likely that I will often will have nonsensical ideas and ramblings. I will do my best to not let that happen. I will also try to keep things interesting.